Navigating This Blog (Also a few thoughts on insult vs. offense)

Thought I’d remind anyone coming by for the first time that categories of blog types are listed in the right column of this page.  If you’re looking for more on communication or suggestions specific to women, for example, you can click on relevant categories.  Thanks for stopping by.

Also, I’m posting here a response to a question about conflict from Linkedin.  It’s about the first step to take in just about any potential conflict situation and is an excerpt from The Secret Handshake:

Separating offense from insult is critical early on. People easily offend and are offended by others, especially under pressure. If you slip into a “give-as-good-as-you-get” posture each time someone accidentally offends you, life becomes like old Dodge City on a bad day. Offense is accidental, insult is purposeful. Until you know which one you’re dealing with, it’s premature to respond in kind. Why not check to see which of these occurred? “Did I hear you right?” or “I may have taken that in a way you hadn’t intended” can be helpful. This approach is a strategy of “giving people the opportunity to do the right thing.” If they didn’t mean to insult you, they have a chance to let you know.

(See more on “choice points” and “unwanted repetitive episodes in the category list to the right)

 

P.S. If you love mystery-thrillers or you know someone who does, check out Shadow Campus at the top right of this page or here.  Forbes called it a “masterful debut mystery” and Laura Stepp, Pulitizer-prize winning journalist and author of Unhooked, wrote to say she was “hooked from the beginning.”  Enjoy!

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