Over at Huffpo “ohmercy” replied to my blog by suggesting that perhaps the president should wear a WWHD bracelet — What Would Hillary do?” I’m sure that didn’t please some people, but there is a good suggestion in there. I responded in this way:
“You know, in a way there’s something here. If we put aside some actual decisions with which me might be discontent and also accept the premise for a moment that the president is new to vicious politics, one of the best ways to learn how to deal in pathological political arenas is to observe how those who thrive do so. As a young professor somewhat on the political purist side, I quickly learned that politics in academia is like any other workplace where competition is constant. Fortunately, mentors, male and female, stepped forward to offer suggestions. I began to observe how they handled tough situations. I’d ask myself, “How would WB handle this?” At home my husband would sometimes ask: “So, how would WB handle this?”
Then you have to adjust those approaches to your comfort zone and the situation at hand. This is one way of learning on the job. The president can learn some of this from reading about his predecessors, but each lived in a different time. He should pick some people who handle difficult situations well — like Madeline Albright as she is less controversial than Hillary. A WWMD bracelet, figuratively speaking, wouldn’t hurt. Then he could have a couple of others as well. Eventually, he’d create his own repertoire. He wouldn’t be predictable. Being predictable lets people maneuver us. It’s no different for a president than it is for you and me.”
Let me add a few more thoughts here. Whenever we don’t have a repertoire of comebacks to difficult situations, and I don’t mean snappy put-downs but rather useful responses, we risk allowing people to manage us. When they are people who don’t have our best interests at heart, we’re giving them a HUGE gift.
In Comebacks at Work, we provide extensive lists of comebacks to try as well as when and how to do that. But, to tailor those to where we work, it’s useful to look around for people who handle difficult situations well.
How do they respond?
What do they say?
How much information do they offer?
Do they avoid defensiveness? If so, how?
When do they use humor and how?
I talked about this at a question-and-answer session after a speech. We talked about having mentors. Often the best mentors are ones who don’t even know they’re your mentor. You observe and learn from them without burdening them with knowing that they are teaching you. Then you might occasionally talk with such people to ask what they were thinking when they responded as they did in specific difficult situations. That’s when you begin to learn the mindset of people who are proficient at comebacks.
None of us should stop learning. There’s a tendency to think that people who make it to high places know all they need to know. I’ve never met a person like this. We’re all works in progress.
