COMEBACK TIP
Today’s interview with Joseph Cooper raised some really good comeback questions. For example, what do you say to a micromanager boss driving your crazy?
Instead of a comeback that he or she might take personally, why not focus on style differences? For example:
“You and I have somewhat different styles but the same goal. I like to be more free-wheeling and you like to make sure things are done right each step along the way. What do you say about meeting in the middle?”
The advantage here is that the focus is on style rather than personality. Also, you’ve mentioned up front that you and your boss have the larger goal in common. So, you’re not just talking about differences. That’s a good backdrop for describing how you might meet each other part way.
Of course, if you wait too long to deal with an issue like this, you could be so exasperated that it will show in your facial expression or tone. It’s usually better to deal with such frustrations early on.
We also talked today about separating offense from insult. The two are different. Offense is more accidental, such as choosing the wrong words or not thinking something through before saying it. Insult is intended to put you down. Often, unless you inquire by saying something like, “Did you mean to say what I thought I heard?” insult can be assumed when offense is what occurred. If we go around reacting to accidental offense with insult comebacks, things aren’t going to go well in a lot of relationships at home and at work.
Comebacks at Work: Using Conversation to Master Confrontation
